Thor – Norse God and Ruler of Asgard

Norse God and Ruler of Asgard

It’s never a good idea to mess with a God but when one of them is wielding a massive hammer about you really do want to thinktwice. I’d rather not have him round my house if I was honest. It’s not likely that he would come around but if he did I would want to know that my Double Glazed Doors Evesham area, provided were up to the task of him knocking on them demanding mead and a roast hog or something. Try https://www.firmfix.co.uk/doors/ in case your concerned.

The reason he would want roast Hog and Mead is that he spends most of his time inVahalla hanging out with the special selected warriors that have fought well in battle. The Valkyries pick them put and deliver them. He welcomes them in and they all have a good fight and a good sing along while telling tales of their exploits. They do this every day and every night for all eternity. Luckily for Thor and the lads a pig called Saehrimnir is killed every day and magically provides pork chops, Ham and sausages then comes back to life in the morning so that he can provide it all again.Thor is only running this place until he can take over the whole show. The whole show is Asgard the kingdom of the Norse Gods, He just needs his Dad Odin to pass on and then he’s the boss.

Thor looks like a proper Viking expect he doesn’t have the horns on the helmet. In fact, no Viking had horns on theHelmets. That was the just the Monks at Lindisfarne annoyed with being constantly attack and robbed they decide that the Vikings must come from the Devil as God can’t have had it in for them that much. Thor has a nice pair of wings instead and lovely long luxurious beard that is sometimes plaited (the big girl, not that I said that!). He has armour because that’s just the way he is and he is always getting into fights with the chosen fallen anyway so he needs a bit of chain mail. He has a lot muscles and is very strong. There is no chance that if Saehrimnir doesn’t fancy providing the Bacon one morning that he is going to get away from this muscle man.

His main concern was the Sky and Thunder, that’s his job and he is going to provide it. He was also the God of Fertility so if you wanted some heirs on your chest you said a quick pray to Thor and prepared to book some time with the wife. The wife would praying that Thor’s wife Sif would come through for her side of it as she was the Goddess of Fertility so with both of them on your side you couldn’t lose. He was a big guy and was considered the strongest of the Gods. Don’t try and have a laugh with him though, he was about as fun as a wet weekend in Swindon.

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